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Last night I had an odd dream. I know dreams are always way more interesting to the dreamer than they are to anyone who has to hear about them. But that’s the advantage of the blog. I can write about my dream so that I remember it and pretend that someone out there cares enough to read about it.

In my dream, I was leaving work on Friday, and remembered that I had booked myself a short cruise that was leaving that afternoon. Since it was just me, and it wasn’t a very long cruise, I just left straight from work. When I got to the port, I realized I didn’t have my cruise ticket with me. But I knew that e-ticketing was an option, so I just figured I’d show my ID and would get on just fine. Turns out it was even easier than that – I just boarded the boat with the crowd and no one asked for my ID. Since I was late to board, I hadn’t’ had the opportunity to get my room assignment. Instead of being a little bitch, and demanding my room (since it was my fault I was late) I figured I’d just wait until everyone got settled, and check in with a steward once we left port to find my room

So I was waiting in one of the ballrooms, and when I saw a couple of familiar faces. Jimmy and Margarita were on my cruise too! They raved about how amazing it was that we were both on the exact same cruise but had somehow managed to not know in advance. About this time I started to get nervous. Surely I would have known if they were going the same time I was. So I went and asked about my cabin. The steward asked for my confirmation number or anything to reference my cabin. I had none of this. About this time I dug through my briefcase and found my actual ticket. My cruise was next weekend. Not this weekend. Which means I was on a 5 day cruise, and not a 3 day cruise, and neither Phlome nor my boss knew I was on a boat and would not be back on Monday.

So I asked when I could get off the boat. It would be Monday before we would reach or next port, and we were already at sea. There was no stopping. I was stuck, and with no way of contacting anyone. So as I’m panicking, I look out the window and see that we are very close to the shore. I mean REALLY close. Like I could just step off the boat and I would land on the boardwalk. Evidently this particular cruise took a route right through the middle of a small shopping villa in Massachusetts. So I took a running leap off the boat – landed on the side walk and walked into an internet café.

Now that I was off the boat my cell phone worked fine. So I called Phlome – told him I would be home really late tonight, then began my search for my way off this island/cape/town thing I had landed myself on.

On Facebook there was a Note thread thing about “firsts” while reading through it I was reminded of my first best friend (being that it was one of the questions on the list).  I was thinking how I knew her for such a short time, and it’s too bad I can never get in touch with her again, since we live in different countries, and haven’t spoken since we both lived overseas as children.  So, on a lark I typed her name in the search field on FB.  There were several folks with her name.  There was one person with her name listed as living in her native country.  The photo didn’t trigger any memories, but she looked to be about the right age.  I figured “what the hell” worst case I get ignored.  Best case she writes back and says “sorry I’m not her, but good luck.”

It’s her.  Now I feel like a stalker.  I honestly did not expect it to be her.  I don’t know what to say to her.  She says my name seems familiar.  I’ve remembered her all these 25+ years as my first best friend, and she barely recognizes my name.  She responded back with a statement about where we both lived overseas, so I know it’s her.  I don’t know what to say back to her.  I don’t know why I’m so…I don’t know…affected.

In other news, I dreamt about my one of my exboyfriends last night.  It was really weird.  For some reason I had an obligation to visit him.  When I got to his place, is very pleasant wife met me at the door, and I discovered that his entire family was living in his house with his wife and kid(s) - parents and siblings w/ their spouses.  It was one of those houses that can only exist in dreams.  It was a very normal one story apparently 3 bedroom home, but once inside it was expansive, yet crowded.  Then for some reason I had to stay the night, so he (we’ll call him Xavier) said I’d sleep on the floor in the room with him and his wife.  His dad suggested that I sleep in the living room on the couch - I concurred.  Then I discovered that Xavier was terrified of the living room for some reason.  Turns out it was haunted, and I was there to help.

So - I’m in the living room with him, and I can see the “demon” that no one else can see but Xavier can sense.  Evidently this demon fed off of Xavier’s fears - not fears of the demon, but general life stresses fears.  Like worrying about paying the bills, and evidently Xavier was worried that we had a bad break-up and it was never resolved.  Next thing you know we’re all sitting around while he expresses all his fears and concerns in a very Psychotherapeutic kind of way.  All the venting weakened the demon until I presume it went away.  I woke up before we really reached a conclusion.

Dreams are always more interesting to the dreamer.

Playing poker is more fun with other people’s money.

When I know I’ve made a very poor decision, I get shakey.
Especially when it involves poker.
And money.
Even if it is someone elses.

I lucked out and split the pot.

3 hands later I quit.

I hate playing with someone who is both on a lucky streak and acts as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Pretending not to know how to play poker is very tackey.

Suited non contectors w/ a face card stress me out.

It is so past my bed time.

Good night - back to work for me in the morning.

I miss Phlome.

I hope Barley doesnt’ destroy something expensive

I went to the doc for a regular check up. Nothing major, hadn’t even told Phlome I was going. While there the doc decided to do a quick brain scan, since she had the equipment in her office anyway. Who knows, maybe there’s something behind those headaches and neck pains I’ve been having.

After the scan she called in another doc for a second opinion. They recommended a more thorough scan. Unfortunately it would take about 2 hours for this scan. I asked if I could make an appointment for another day. The doc strongly recommended against it. Things like this can go at any minute.
What!?!?! Things like this? What were they talking about?
“We don’t want to go into it until we’re sure what we’re dealing with. But if it’s what we think it is; it could be life threatening. We wouldn’t be able to get in for a couple weeks if we don’t do it right now. You could be fine for a couple weeks either way.”

I needed to call my husband. He didn’t even know I was going to be late, but there was no time. They had to do it right now. Not 5 minutes from now. NOW.

Fortunately I saw a friend walk by the door. I knew she was a nurse, just not at this doctor’s office.
“Ashley!” I hollered.
“Call Phlome, tell him I’m here, talk to the doctors, they’ll tell you so you can explain it to him.” I frantically told her as I was being laid down on the gurney. I could tell by the look in her eye, and her glance at the doctor that she knew. She probably knew more than I did.
Hell, all I knew was there was something wrong in my head.
Heh - yeah, well we all knew that.
But this, this was something too serious to joke about. Was it a tumor? An aneurism? A blood clot?
Why won’t they tell me?

As I laid my head down, a nurse inserted a needle into my wrist.
“This will help calm you down. We need you to stay perfectly still for this scan. It’s a mild sedative to….”
I heard her gentle voice drift away as I slowly fell asleep.

I woke up and knew they’d escalated. It was like I remembered hearing all of the doctors’ conversations while I was asleep; as if I’d only been semi-unconscious.
They had decided to operate. They had needed to go in immediately. I still wasn’t sure if it was an aneurism or a blood clot. But it was not a tumor… something about nerves. Why wouldn’t anyone explain to me?
I also knew that they knew I was awake. It’s best to have the patient conscious for brain surgeries. They had eased up on the sedatives, and were now only using local anesthesia on my head. I had an IV in my wrist where the nurse had originally injected me with “the mild sedative.”
I also knew they had shaved my head. Because that’s what they have to do to perform open brain surgery.
The scene from Hannibal flashed through my mind.

Things must have gone well, because I fell asleep again. When I woke up they were done. The doctors were all grinning. It had gone very very well. Better than they had expected. There was a scary minute or two when they had trouble reconnecting something. I don’t really know what they were talking about. It was like they were talking around me, over me, but not to me.

Why wouldn’t anyone talk to me? I looked down; I could still see my long hair. I glanced up at the mirror. For some reason they had only shaved the crown of my head. I still had a wring of hair surrounding my skull.
But what’s that?
What are those two lumps on my skull? Is that normal?
Why won’t anyone talk to me?

One of the nurses escorted me out to the waiting room. I was wearing a hospital gown and socks.
I saw Phlome. He looked at me but didn’t smile, as if he were in shock. He didn’t know what to say or how to react. I felt bad for him. Here was his new bride with half her head shaved.

Did I really look that bad? He had a large overnight bag with him. Was that my stuff? Or his? How long had he been here?
How long had I been here? Hours? Days? Weeks?
I turned towards the nurses’ station, where I saw one of my doctors going through some charts.

“What happened?” I demanded
He gave me a very patronizing smile, and gestured towards a nurse. She took me by my arm and escorted me towards the check-out desk.
“Everything is fine. The operation went wonderfully. You’ll be just fine. Let’s get you checked out here so you can go home.”
“But what happened? What are these bumps? Why did you cut into my brain?”
The nurse looked sympathetically up at Phlome and he shrugged is shoulders.
He must be in shock; he wouldn’t just shuffle along like that and not say anything. Is it really that serious that they can’t talk to me about it yet?
“WHY WON’T ANYONE TALK TO ME???!!!” I yelled.
“Why won’t you answer my questions.!?” I sobbed as I overheard the doctor say:
“Give her another sedative; we can’t have her getting that agitated.”

And I blacked out again.

Then I woke up. I rolled over and curled up to Phlome, to tell him all about my disturbing dream as he ran his fingers through my long hair.

This morning I woke up from dreaming about my wedding. I didn’t want to wake up, because I still needed to fix it. The various things that were going wrong:

As of the rehearsal we had forgotten to order chairs for the ceremony
The officiant never showed up
My aunt wore jeans and a t-shirt (I told her she had to leave, and go put on something nicer, she came back in the same old t-shirt but with slacks - just so you know, this is so not like my aunt)
My cousins were wearning horridly fluffy dresses
my wedding colors had changed to pink and peach
my dress was peach and the same dress my grandmother wore to her 2nd wedding
my bouquet was fake
people forgot who was supposed to escort who down the aisle
random distantly extended members of the family (who I didn’t know) kept escorting other random people down the aisle
my aunt walked her tackily dressed self down the aisle
no one walked my mom or grandmother down the aisle
I finally stormed down the aisle and told everyone to just sit down and lets get on with it
that’s when I was reminded that we still didn’t have an officiant
The whole mess lead to us running out of time, and loosing our space at the reception place.

The only good thing - the weather was nice.

Maybe I should just make this a dream blog. Each day I’ll blog about the weird dream I had the night before. Of course I’d need to take notes when I first wake up in the morning, to keep it straight. So here’s y dream from last night:

I commuted to and from work via helecopter. Most people did. It was easier to park that way. I also lived at my house back in Tulsa w/ my mom. Fortunatly our back yard is big enough, it makes a perfect Heleport, for our commuter helecopters (smaller than the standard - think SmartCar w/ a propeller.) One of my co-workers was coming home with me, because we had to work late. My mom was home, working on some artsey craftsey stuff. The co-worker seemed annoyed by this. Then I rememberd, we didn’t actually have any work to do tonight. And that as far as he knew we would have been coming home to my house alone. And that’s when I put it all together. You see, we had been working late together a lot, and we always ended up working late together at my house. He always seemed annoyed that all I did was get the work done then say goodbye. And knowing that he is unhappily married, he must have been trying to seduce me. That’s when I invited him to sit and have a chat with mom and I, since she’d be there all evening. About that time he remembered that his wife was expecting him home.

Mom’s are great for sending away unwanted potential illicit love affairs.

I had a totally weird dream last night. I dreamt that for some reason we had 3 pet kittens - but really they were more like strays that hung out - but I kept forgetting to go outside and give them food and water. I figured it would be okay though, because they could get out of the backyard and fend for themselves if it got that bad. So then after weeks of occasional feeding, I went outside, and found 1 dead kitten - they’d gone cannibalistic. I then found the other 2 kittens in very bad shape, and one puppy (who knows where it came from). I thought the puppy was dead, but it wasn’t. So I rushed the 2 living kittens and the near dead puppy to an emergency vet/shelter. The plan was to drop them all off as strays, and let them take care of the injured animals. But because we dropped them off the vet was going to make us pay for their care. I said “but I hate cats - I don’t want these cats. I’m leaving them here - you do what you want with them.”
The puppy was a different issue. It was in really bad shape, and had some broken something or other. So it needed a brace. I’m like, “okay, whatever needs to be done, I’ll keep the puppy.”
Well it turns out that I have to carry the puppy around constantly, because for some reason, I have to be used to stabilize the brace. And in order for me to act as the brace stabilizer, they have to NAIL A STEEL ROD TO MY RIBS which then connects via another rod to my elbow and forearm, where the puppy will then be braced to.
(It’s a dream people; I have no idea how this really was supposed to work logistically).
So the vet goes away, and the nurse walks up behind me, sticks this thing up against my back ribs - and I’m like “WAIT I’m not ready!” And she’s like “its better that way.” Evidently her plan had been to wham bam shoot me in the ribs and be done with it. Well, I was all trying to squirm away, and then BOOM. Nail gun to my rib bone. It didn’t hurt that bad - just a lot of constant pressure.
So there I am with this contraption of a brace attached to my back ribs and forearm (it just wrapped around my forearm - no more nail guns.) And a puppy strapped to it.
That’s when I woke up.

I was squished up against Phlome with his elbow dug into my back ribs and Barley was whimpering to go outside.

But not in a good way…

I had a bad dream last night. I woke up around 4ish and forced Phlome to cuddle with me. Actualy I cuddled w/ him as best I could - he kinda just laid there.
In my dream Hopper, Phlome and I were assigned the task of finding body parts. Not just anybody’s but the dismembered body parts of at least two diff. people one male, one female. We had to find them, dig them up, collect them in plastic bags, then clean them, and transport them to whoever needed them. I knew all this stuff, but my dream started about the time we got to a motel, where we would be staying and cleaning them up. I had a dream memory of having dug them up though.
The problem we kept running into, is that for some reason, we could not keep our motel door shut, everytime we turned around it was open. And even though our room was at the very end of the hall, people kept coming by for some reason.
First it was a firefighter for an inspection who came by while we were away. He discovered some missing bolts in the railing outside our door. So then the motel maintenance guy (who looked suspiciously like one of the old Laugh-in characters - short, small beedy eyes, glasses, lots of squinting)came by to fix the bolts. While doing so, he discovered a sign outside our door, at the bottom of the sign it said “You guys are so depraved.” I panicked, then I saw that the sign was for some massive orgie like party planned for that night at the motel. Then random people that were there for the party kept coming by. And everytime it was all we could do to keep people out of the motel room, and keep them from looking at the sink. I remember standing at the door, looking at the back of the motel room, seeing the sink with a foot sticking out, and not seeing how it would be possible for the the partier who had just wedged his way in, to not see the body parts and head in a plastic bag under the sink.
So while all this is going on, Hopper, Phlome, and I are supposed to be trading off cleaning up the body parts. (and for some reason we also had a doll that looked rather evil in the room w/ us, and sometimes I was thinking it would be used as an example for how we would put the parts back together). I think Hopper had freaked out to the point that she couldn’t handle it anymore and would not go near the limbs etc. to help clean them (can you blame her?) So it was left to me and Phlome. We decided that the best bet, was for me to clean them for as long as I could, until I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Then he would do the same, and we would trade off until it was done.
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