Another quote from Party Monster today. I may have to watch the movie again soon. Getting involved in the Burlesque community has really allowed the closeted exhibitionist in me to peak out just a bit. I love the glamour of the girls who actually perform, and I like getting a little taste of it myself. I’m quite certain my obsession with Drag Queens/Boys in Dresses/Cross-dressers is directly related to my enjoyment of all things glamorous (except that song by Fergie). But I like being able to turn it on and off. I couldn’t handle being glamorous all the time – it’s exhausting. I like to just be able to go out in jeans and a tshirt now and then. I love that I can just wear jeans and a t-shirt to work now and then. Sometimes I wish I could glam up at work…I guess maybe I could for Halloween. I wonder if I could go as rosie the riveter with fake eyelashes? Too much? Possibly, but not a bad idea.
I have a job interview today, for a position in a different department here at work. Same location, different building, different kind of work. I want the job. I don’t think I’m going to get the job. Maybe someday when I’m in charge of hiring I’ll gain an understanding of why folks will hire someone who they know nothing about other that what it says on their resume. I will come in to this interview with experience on every application used, experience working well with everyone in the department, and experience doing most of what is required of the job, while an employee here. I just won’t have had that specific job title anywhere else I’ve been. They’ll probably hire someone who has held the title, who has never used any of the applications we use here, and who has never actually worked with anyone here, or in the industry. And that person will leave as soon as something else comes up. I’m applying so that I can extend my career here. It’s very frustrating because I’ve seen them do it before. They talk about how often people move around with in a company, but I’ve seen very few examples of it actually happening.
I would love working in the new department, I get along well with everyone, and it would be nice to work under a different management style. And it’s a position that has the potential for growth. There’s no growth for me here. I’ve been here just over 2 years, I’m not stagnating yet, but I don’t want get to that point either. I hate getting my hopes up. I’m going to sit here and sulk, now, and remind myself why I won’t be getting the job, before I go home for lunch and get dressed for the interview.
Yes, I know it’s April and not November. Sometimes we all start to take our lives for granted and forget how much we really do have to be thankful for. There are the big things: I’m alive, and the little things: I’ve got awesomely cool red sparkly nail polish, and all the stuff in between.
Here’s a few things I think are really worth mentioning (besides life and sparkly red nail polish):
- I have a job, and not just a paying gig, but a job that I don’t hate. I know too many people who don’t have jobs right now. There are also people out there who have jobs that are making them miserable. But they don’t have the luxury of leaving, because in this economy you can’t just go find another job. I’ve been in that job before. I’ve driven to work crying because I hated my job so much. You can say that they should just be thankful to have a job, but when your job makes you so unhappy that it begins to affect your life outside of work, sometimes it really doesn’t feel that way. Yes, the job is providing you money to buy food. But sometimes there are days when you think you’d rather just not eat. Fortunately I am not there anymore. I have a job, that I don’t hate – it really is a lot to be thankful for.
- I have a home.
- I have a loving husband who always kisses me goodnight.
- I have a caring mother I can call and just talk to about anything or nothing at all.
- I have friends who I see every week, and others who I can just check in with every now and then.
- I have disposable income that lets me buy little things that make me smile, like sparkly nail polish, glitter gel pens, a day at the salon, new shoes, dresses, hair accessories, fru-fru gum and so on. Maybe not all in one shopping spree, but enough to keep my smiling.
We all have the things to be thankful for that we sometimes forget to enjoy, or forget how lucky we are to have. These are only a few of mine.
On Facebook there was a Note thread thing about “firsts” while reading through it I was reminded of my first best friend (being that it was one of the questions on the list). I was thinking how I knew her for such a short time, and it’s too bad I can never get in touch with her again, since we live in different countries, and haven’t spoken since we both lived overseas as children. So, on a lark I typed her name in the search field on FB. There were several folks with her name. There was one person with her name listed as living in her native country. The photo didn’t trigger any memories, but she looked to be about the right age. I figured “what the hell” worst case I get ignored. Best case she writes back and says “sorry I’m not her, but good luck.”
It’s her. Now I feel like a stalker. I honestly did not expect it to be her. I don’t know what to say to her. She says my name seems familiar. I’ve remembered her all these 25+ years as my first best friend, and she barely recognizes my name. She responded back with a statement about where we both lived overseas, so I know it’s her. I don’t know what to say back to her. I don’t know why I’m so…I don’t know…affected.
In other news, I dreamt about my one of my exboyfriends last night. It was really weird. For some reason I had an obligation to visit him. When I got to his place, is very pleasant wife met me at the door, and I discovered that his entire family was living in his house with his wife and kid(s) - parents and siblings w/ their spouses. It was one of those houses that can only exist in dreams. It was a very normal one story apparently 3 bedroom home, but once inside it was expansive, yet crowded. Then for some reason I had to stay the night, so he (we’ll call him Xavier) said I’d sleep on the floor in the room with him and his wife. His dad suggested that I sleep in the living room on the couch - I concurred. Then I discovered that Xavier was terrified of the living room for some reason. Turns out it was haunted, and I was there to help.
So - I’m in the living room with him, and I can see the “demon” that no one else can see but Xavier can sense. Evidently this demon fed off of Xavier’s fears - not fears of the demon, but general life stresses fears. Like worrying about paying the bills, and evidently Xavier was worried that we had a bad break-up and it was never resolved. Next thing you know we’re all sitting around while he expresses all his fears and concerns in a very Psychotherapeutic kind of way. All the venting weakened the demon until I presume it went away. I woke up before we really reached a conclusion.
…I am obviously quite lacking in. I was left alone in the house w/ the unpackaged final book for all of 15 minutes before I broke down and opened the book. I am now quite a bit further into the book than Phlome because I “worked” from home yesterday afternoon and today…well, I’m not quite done with the book.
I hate myself just a little. But I blame FJ - it’s all her fault. Witness her so pursuasive words that forced me to open the cover:
me: now his book is sitting here right in front of me, while he has gone to the store
i may have to peak at the first chapter…
Jessica
: um, it’s good.
me: ok…while ihave about a half an hour i’m gonna take advantage of it.
How can a person resist that!
I confess that I laughed at the NPR marketplace update today. To paraphrase:
Bristol-Meyers Squibb was rejected in their bid for a merger with Sanofi-Aventis on the grounds that their name would just be too long.
I currently have in my possession one hard back copy of Disco Bloodbath by James St. James. I have it checked out from the Grand Prairie Memorial Library. Anybody know what happens if you lose a library book?
Here’s a quick review of my year based on the first blog entry of each month for 2007 as inspired by Hopper.
January 01, 2006
Happy New Year
Word for word: Happy 2006 everyone. It’s been a great year already! Tonight, Maggiano’s for my b-day dinner - then off to the local Goth club for more bday festivities.
February 02, 2006
Razzies. In which I am thankful for never seeing Dukes of Hazzards
March 08, 2006
Random Ranting
In which I rant about overly critical writing critics, feeling completely out of the loop due to insanity with work/wedding, Barley’s chewing habits, Barley and Luna’s Houdini like escapades, Vegas, and the neighbors w/ the rabbit
April 04, 2006
Mrs. PhlomeIn which I tease such thing as:
wedding recap
pictures and where to find them
April Fools Day ‘joke’
helpful MexiCans
“Hot” Couture
May 03, 2006
Problem Child
In which a lament the many more items Barley has destroyed as compared to the movie Problem Child
June 01, 2006
shoulda just stayed in bed
July 07, 2006
count down to shut down
Short week with too much to do
August 04, 2006
As stolen from FJ via Neko
A review of my Sr. Year
September 01, 2006
Done
Weekly Recap and ToDos
October 18, 2006
Slacker
In which I lament my lack of blog attention
November 08, 2006
keeping it going
Retracting my blog boycott
December 03, 2006
Overrated
U2 sucks
Curiously enough the blogs immediatly before and after the first blog of each month seem to be far more interesting.
I know I probably just scared off 90% of my readership there, but I really do some of my best work while listening to country music for some reason. It’s soothing lilting twang really gets my mental juices flowing.
I’m currently writing my term project (due by midnight tomorrow - started about 3pm yesterday). So far I’m 7 pages in, and getting into the real BS of it. I can’t go over 10 pages so I may end up fudging some margins and shrinking the text size if I have to.
I know - I’m lame. But no one seems to have even noticed I was gone. I think I swore of comment whoring a good while back. But comment whoring may be the only thing to keep me blogging. It’s hard to get up the gumption to post when no one seems to notice or care when I don’t. So ya ya ‘whaaaa’ me. I’m a big whiney baby.
I’m taking my capstone course for my MBA in January. Then just one more elective course after that and I’ll be done. So as of April 29th I could be completely 100% done.
Whoo Hoo.
Outside of that, it’s just more work crap.
This is actually inspired by Dooce’s post today. Maybe I should buy the book she references so I’ll alwasy have something to blog about - heck we can make it a blog theme and everyone with bloggers block can join in.
So what’s a deal breaker for you when it comes to dating (or what were your deal breakers when you were dating).
I had a serious issue with height. All I really want, is someone I can wear high heels round. Being that I’m 5′3.9″ I never considered it a deal breaker until that blind date in HS. I answered the door in my 1 inch boots, and looked directly at the top of the head of my date. Seriously. He took me to Sonic for our date. I was a Sr. in HS he was a Freshman incollege. And a wrestler. And talked about his glaucoma a lot.
So I have a minimum height requirement of 5′6″